i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
