In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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