i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
