We're facebook friends in real life
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I just googled if crying burns calories
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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