sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
