So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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