he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
