I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
