It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
He told me they were just razor bumps!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
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