I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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