It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
