anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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