Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
love makes seman taste better
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
