Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
