...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Can I color on your dick again?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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