Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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