watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
So vagazzling was a success
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Randomize
