I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
