I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
