Is it normal to miss your booty call?
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
