Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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