I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
