i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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