Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
I think I am morally bankrupt
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Randomize
