I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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