awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
