we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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