Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
