I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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