this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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