apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
