trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
