what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Randomize
