Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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