Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You need Xanax blowdarts
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Randomize
