You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
