What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
