You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
