I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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