she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
