He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
