would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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