I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
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