Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I deserve to be covered in dicks
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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