It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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