maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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