Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Randomize
