Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
