and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
When are your genitals available?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
