We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
