I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Randomize
