He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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