We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
too bad you live with your parents still
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I need to align my fucking chakras
i think we sleep fucked last night...
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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