Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
