You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
