Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
