He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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