My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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