i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Dick very happy bro
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
