that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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