I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
