haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
