I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
