laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
